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Sunday, January 14th, 2007
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8:02 am - passing epiphany
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it's like in the essance of trying to be normal, i have completely thrown away that with which i really am.
a fleeting thought perhaps, i am unhappy with who i am, but who i am is not i. lost in the confusion of the normalacy, i killed my own magic. the swirls of the past are trying to come back, have been trying to ignite, but i was too colorblind to realize. realization takes initiation, takes aggrivation, takes halucinations. i will find me, i will accomplish something.
the study of the populi will rediscover who am i, in the smog of polution i will kill.
i accept who i am
and am i, who can admit so easily, that the faults are not as such?
i am a loner, i cut on occasion, i hate my body.
i am smart, a little ignorant at times, but the potential is there.
i hide, who i am, what i do, what i will become.
i love to self destruct, i am strong and responsible.
i will suceed, even if it means sacrifice.
i love, and am loved, just not always in the ways i need.
i hate and am hated, and it burns me to the core.
i like violence, but am terrified of what that means.
i am you, you are him, and we are one.
i still sleep with a night light.
i miss the way i use to act, the way i use to not care.
i think today will be a new day, and hope tomorrow will follow suit.
i quit my second job, becuase i couldnt stand the customers.
i dont regret the things i fucked, only the things i let fuck me.
i need a shower.
i am more than what you know, you are more than i will ever have....
current music: and the hero will drown
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, January 17th, 2006
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11:07 am
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