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Sunday, January 14th, 2007
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8:02 am - passing epiphany
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it's like in the essance of trying to be normal, i have completely thrown away that with which i really am.
a fleeting thought perhaps, i am unhappy with who i am, but who i am is not i. lost in the confusion of the normalacy, i killed my own magic. the swirls of the past are trying to come back, have been trying to ignite, but i was too colorblind to realize. realization takes initiation, takes aggrivation, takes halucinations. i will find me, i will accomplish something.
the study of the populi will rediscover who am i, in the smog of polution i will kill.
i accept who i am and am i, who can admit so easily, that the faults are not as such? i am a loner, i cut on occasion, i hate my body. i am smart, a little ignorant at times, but the potential is there. i hide, who i am, what i do, what i will become. i love to self destruct, i am strong and responsible. i will suceed, even if it means sacrifice. i love, and am loved, just not always in the ways i need. i hate and am hated, and it burns me to the core. i like violence, but am terrified of what that means. i am you, you are him, and we are one. i still sleep with a night light. i miss the way i use to act, the way i use to not care. i think today will be a new day, and hope tomorrow will follow suit. i quit my second job, becuase i couldnt stand the customers. i dont regret the things i fucked, only the things i let fuck me. i need a shower.
i am more than what you know, you are more than i will ever have....
current music: and the hero will drown
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, January 17th, 2006
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11:07 am
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